Bath Bombs for Men: The Weird Relationship Between Masculinity and Self-Care

In the pockets of time when I wasn’t creating my website, I was scrolling through Amazon in search of bath bombs. After leaving Headspace, I created a to-do list with goals to accomplish, including things like “start my LLC,” “create my website,” and some gentle reminders like “relax” and “spend time with family and friends.” Three weeks since my departure and I think I can cross off “relax” from my checklist. That’s because I discovered the joy of bath bombs, Kindles, and aromatherapy candles. There is nothing better than whipping out your Kindle, filling the tub with a bath bomb, and lighting a candle.

During my search for bath bombs, I stumbled across “Bath Bombs for Men” and, even better, “Bath Bombs for Real Men.” In case you were curious, real men like their bath bombs smelling like mahogany and shaped like diamonds. I somewhat understand mahogany, but Marilyn Monroe led me to believe that diamonds were, in fact, a girl’s best friend. Regardless, while I support anything that encourages self-care, I found it amusing to think that some people feel the need for a weird, gender-specific prerequisite to enjoy a bath.

While this experience made me laugh, I believe there is something larger to discuss regarding men and self-care. This trend reflects deep-rooted ideals of masculinity that suggest relaxation is not something helpful, needed, or even deserved by men. Men will happily do a cold plunge but will rarely practice gratitude or self-compassion. And before the cold plungers unite against me, I too love a cold plunge and believe they are beneficial for both inflammation and mood. Unfortunately, cold plunges are only recommended in small doses, and you shouldn’t overdo them. The good news is that where cold plunges end, your mahogany diamond bath awaits.

Growing up, I never fully understood the importance of sleep. What was worse was that I used to puff out my chest to claim how little I needed. Unfortunately, that pride was drowned out by symptoms of anxiety, which were greatly exacerbated by my lack of sleep. I even used to go as far as saying that I hated sleep because it wasn’t productive. Through my work and lived experience, I have come to realize that sleep is one of the most important factors for your health, productivity, and mood.

If you want to be successful, you need to prioritize sleep and find time to relax. Self-care doesn’t have to be bubble baths but you should still have something that signals to your body that you are relaxed and it can now activate your parasympathetic nervous system. When that is activated, you feel relaxed, your heart rate slows, your blood pressure drops, your digestion improves, and your immune system function boosts. To activate the parasympathetic nervous system, many people choose activities like meditation, breathing exercises, reading (not scrolling), journaling, yoga, mindful walks, and the list goes on. If none of this sounds manly enough for you, spray a little mahogany cologne in the air and turn on Shirley Bassey’s “Diamonds Are Forever” because that is apparently what real men do. Though if you aren't interested in any of these things, the most important thing is to find something that works for you.

The veil of masculinity still shows up in the weirdest of ways and at the weirdest times. My hope is that we can remove the fog to engage in habits and routines that support overall health and well-being. I still find myself having to challenge these old habits or beliefs that feel deeply rooted. Many ideals of masculinity promote unhealthy behaviors, both for society and for individuals. Often times this is unconscious and so it takes constant introspection on your part to ask yourself the question of how do my own views of masculinity interfere with my health and happiness. 

So, my big call to action is: try it out. Man up and take the damn bath.